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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm on the phone with someone I like to scream WAIT DON'T HANG UP right as they're hanging up & then not answer when they call back"

"Being eaten by zombies sounds less painful than running away from zombies."

"Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach? Because he was walking around with a semillon (semi-on)"

"Which herbal tea goes best with heroin?"

"I joined the DNA this week . . . The National Dyslexic Authority"

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse For being sober one year."

"While the worker was talking about computer parts he made my motherboard"

"Transvestite joke What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokemon trainer? Ash."

"A friend was showing me around his house... Friend: ""So this is our master bed room..."" Me: ""...You guys have a masturbate room?"""