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Joke of the Day

"Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the Like' button is below)"

"Dear Fork, I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon"

"The toilet on the train was out of order, so I had to sit there and hold it for half an hour. A woman who was sat opposite, looked at me in disgust and asked ""Is that a fucking poo in your hand?"""

"If my teachers don't become Ms. Frizzle anytime soon, I will just keep not paying attention."

"How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler? How red their necks are."

"date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday"

"I don't see why Mariah Carey is getting so much abuse. Every year at Times Square someone drops the ball."

"My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates"