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Joke of the Day

"I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail."

"Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : ""Come again ?"" ( not hearing ) Blonde: ""Nope, Just mustard this time"""

"What is the hardest part to eat in a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"How do you get your partner to give you head? Put them in a guillotine."

"Bestiality is disgusting and wrong. Having said that, I did once come on a mouse."

"What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity? A cognac"

"What's the difference between Snow-men and Snow-women? Snowballs."

"Top three perverts that see you when you're sleeping: 1. Santa. 2. God. 3. NSA."

"What is the number 1 pickup line at a gay bar? May I push your stool in?"

"I don't like using the locker room at the gym cuz the guys always stare when they notice my gym bag is filled with lasagna"