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Joke of the Day

"What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it? Unbereavable."

"Live for what tomorrow has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away."

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"What was written on the UNIX user's doormat? ""There's no place like cd ~"""

"If you woke up in the woods with a handful of leaves and a condom hanging out of your butt, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping?"

"Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster."

"A guy walks into a burn ward and says ""Hey, you with the face!"""

"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they like to push two twins together to make a king. (Game of Thrones ref)"

"Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country? Too many horses were drowning."

"My favorite joke is about RMS Titanic. It's a one-liner."