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Joke of the Day

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"Why does a d dog scratch himself? He is the only one that knows where it itches."

"I'd make a political joke here I'm just afraid it would be elected."

"What do cats major in college? String theory!!"

"How do you tell when somebodies a vegan? You don't, they will tell you."

"Did you hear about the tropical birds who got stuck together? Well I won't explain now, it's toucan fusing."

"What's the difference between my face and my jokes? People laugh at my face."

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."

"I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was... ...she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose."

"I wonder if the coach of the opposing team on Air Bud got fired when he explained to the principal how a golden retriever outscored his team"