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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Always bring a deck of cards with you when you go hiking Joke: If you get lost, play some Solitaire. Soon enough someone will be around to tell you how to play your own damn cards!"

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"How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears."
"I've been going to the gym for five years now and I still don't have abs. It sucks being the cleaner."
"What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table."
"Coworker: Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning? Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette."
"Why did Pinocchio's nose get longer? Because he told his wife he cheated on her."
"Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory"
"Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume? A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)"
"Netflix just asked me ""Are you really going to eat that too?"""
"Unintentionally Offensive Word Nerd Pickup Line Do you feel stupid? 'Cause your ass a nine. Like, asinine? ...I'll show myself out"