199966

Joke of the Day

"Unintentionally Offensive Word Nerd Pickup Line Do you feel stupid? 'Cause your ass a nine. Like, asinine? ...I'll show myself out"

"did you know that the bible doesn't actually contain any references to hell? or heaven? or christ?? it just a bunch of names & phone numbers"

"""Yes, I need to check in."" ""Sir, this is a burn unit."" ""Yeah, I got hit hard with a series of jokes about my mom, and I had no comeback."""

"I would pay double my Netflix subscription if Stranger Things Season 2 brought back Barb from a parallel universe who then confesses her love for Nancy. You? What would you do for a clone dyke Barb?"

"Why is Wendy never pregnant? Because Peter's sperm Neverlands."

"Banana vs Vibrator"

"????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE- ""Carl, you're fired. You're a horrible mortician."""

"Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas Eminessence and Marshal Lathers."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig jumped into a giant pit of mud."

"Smart White Boy OPTIONAL (text)"