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Joke of the Day

"I've been going to the gym for five years now and I still don't have abs. It sucks being the cleaner."

"My wife asked me to stop singing Oasis songs. I said maybe."

"Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it."

"Play Mambo No. 5 at my funeral even if you have to fight my family"

"Two guys walk into a bar... the next one ducks."

"So a grasshopper walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You have a drink named Steve?"" favorite corny joke"

"I used to date a moonshiner's daughter... She always made me lick her"

"""We are going to Taiwan"" Juan: No, please don't!"

"I'm currently stuck behind traffic lights. Fuck you Roxanne."

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna."