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Joke of the Day

"A dog walks into a bar ""I'll have one ... beer."" Bartender replies ""Why the pause?"" Dog says ""Because I was born with them, asshole."""

"Does anyone else find it ironic that Stalin was also Russian?"

"Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down."

"everyone's always asking me 'is your son named after the movie?' and I'm like no idiot Sharknado's 5 yrs old and the movie came out in 2013"

"What's the loneliest drink? I dunno but its in a solo cup."

"I didn't say you are fat, I just said that going out with you feels like going on a double date"

"Peanut Butter A man walks into a psychiatrist's office masturbating with a jar of peanut butter. He asks the doctor, ""Well, whaddya think?"". The doctor replied, ""I think you're fucking nuts."""

"What would you call it if Hitler was mad? inFUHRERiated."

"What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails? Jesus"

"A man goes into a bakery and says, ""I'll have 99 rolls."" Says the lady behind the counter: ""Why don't you take 100, then you have one more."" ""But who's gonna eat all those rolls?"""