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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box if chocholates. It's full of nuts and you only enjoy some of it."

"My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo."

"What is the difference between a middle school boy and a high school boy? The middle school boy just wants to snatch a kiss."

"Maxim's Hot 100 List is bogus. Some of those girls look WAY younger than 100."

"Why is Uhura black? Because William shat on her."

"What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper."

"Star Wars really beat me in movies.. Rogue One, Me Zero."

"I stepped on a grape once. It didn't scream, but it did let out a little whine."

"The only standards I have in life are about the quality of alcohol I consume, and even that gets sketchy after about 5 drinks."

"What's a bear's favorite kind of treasure? Bearied."