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Joke of the Day

"Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard."

"What's a white supremacist's favourite fast food restaurant? KKKFC"

"The Mrs recognizes my ""tell"" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud ""A-OOGA"" noise."

"Shields. What is Captain America's shield made of? Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of? **Quicksilver**"

"The slogan for the local sheriff's department: ""We aim to police!"""

"If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you Instagram it?"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not going to fall for that one again."

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. . A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday..."

"What do people call their grandmother in India? Naana"

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."