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Joke of the Day

"There's no ""I"" in meat, but there's ""me"" and ""eat"", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic."

"Let's hear your best ""my penis is so big"" jokes My dick is so big that at birth, instead of spanking me, the doctor smashed me with a bottle of champagne"

"What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ? Osaka."

"CHINA: how can we fix our economic problems??? GERMANY: how do we reestablish our engineering reputation??? USA: OH MY GOD RAT WITH A PIZZA"

"I have a question for you guys. After the door bell rings, how long do I have to wait to turn the TV volume back up and make any movement?"

"I wish my cocaine was emo so it would cut itself."

"How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb? 100. 1 to do it, and 99 to stand around saying the old one was better."

"Did you hear about the guy who's left arm and leg got cut off? He has **crippling** depression"

"""OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!"" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* ""what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"""

"What do you get when you add human DNA with goat DNA I don't know but I was kicked out of the petting zoo.."