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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."

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"It was time to show my girlfriend how i really feel.. so i showed her my hands.."
"I never buy Easter Seals... because I wouldn't know what to feed them. Norm McDonald"
"The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head."
"What did the butcher say the the angry customer? I'm sorry that we couldn't meat your needs. I came up with that myself about a year ago."
"""Guys I gotta hang up I have a trout on the other line"""
"What expression would be the worst if taken literally? Shit a brick."
"[astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] ""Is it true the moon is cheese?"" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]"
"I've got my ion you, baby!"
"Thought I saw a brownie walk by but it was just my dog. Other than that, diet is going well."