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Joke of the Day

"What does it mean when a lion roars? Shut up. The movie is about to start."

"Responded to a ""you up"" text at 3AM with ""Let me play with your teeth."" The reply ten minutes later: ""no."" This is already my favorite year."

"What do rednecks call the BATF? The Bureau of All Things Fine."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex, I would ask my pimp for a raise."

"911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on How to live life to the full with a 2 inch penis'. The librarian says, ""That ones just in."""

"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"

"[OC] Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!"

"*pulls home cooked meal out of oven* *family awkwardly stares at me* Yup, this is definitely not my house."

"What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed? Just out of Curiosity..."