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Joke of the Day

"If I bought 1/4 of the Viagra the spammers are offering me, I'd have a hard on for the next 400 years."

"Mah Dearest Emma, War on Christmas is hell. This morn, I saw 7 elves stabbed with 1 menorah. I fear this nog soaked yuletide may nevah end."

"Why do pediatricians get so frustrated? They have very little patients."

"I was going to make a joke about a broken pencil... but it would be pointless."

"I was in Australia once and I saw someone play Stairway to Heaven on the didgeridoo. I said ""That's Aboriginal."""

"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."

"Why was little Billy so sad when his friends played on the swingset? He had no arms. Sorry that joke was stupid, let me try again. Knock Knock ""Whose there?"" Not Billy"

"A Gingerbread Man Veteran ...lost his legs in 'Nom"

"Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim? He was shocked when he survived"

"Your mom is so ugly... ... That she committed suicide and the devil sent her right back."