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Joke of the Day

"I had my prostate examined the other day. After it was all over, the doctor left at the same time the nurse came in, and whispered the three words no one wants to hear. Who was that?"

"When a woman says ""WHAT did you just say?"" say something different."

"I just invented a new word: Plagiarism."

"lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some heads at the beach? float dead in a lake"

"TIL that if a seamstress messes up even one stick, the thing van unwravel Oops. Wrong thread This^ joke type is stupid and I hate it. Maybe you won't"

"Winter is like your boyfriend... you know it's coming soon but you want it to hold off for as long as possible"

"My life sucks I've got a less-than-minimum-wage job, my best friend has no brain, my neighbor is an asshole, my boss is a stingy bitch, and the worst part... #I live in a pineapple under the sea."

"If I had $1 for every time somebody called me a racist... black people would rob me."

"How do I submit a joke? Do I hand my life in?"

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes? Chicken ceaser salad."