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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Democrats sell pants? They believe in a single-pair system."
Next Joke
"I was going to drive to the shop to pick up some guacamole... ....but I don't avocado."
"John is swinging Lisa around with a period of 0.5 revolutions per second. What happens when the period is increased? John Unexpectedly paints his walls red."
"Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart."
"This 5p bag tax is great I can get a 10bag for 50p"
"Good friends are like balloons.... ....if you stab them they die"
"Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone."
"Before you buy that nice jacket online, ask yourself: ""Am I willing to delete one extra email every day for the rest of my life?"""
"No thanks, newborn babies of literally any species on planet Earth. Come back when you're less pink & rubbery & can loan me thirty dollars."
"Why are most blacks Catholic? If they were Jewish their dicks couldn't live in the hood."