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Joke of the Day

"Magician to a hot chick: I will do a magic trick on you. I will fuk you and then I will disappear."

"The difference between Napoleon and I... is Napoleon understood the importance of 5 minutes. That's my dream. In reality, I'd masturbate if I could get away with it"

"me: goodnight moon :) moon: night<3 me: goodnight stars :) moon: wtf me: sry wrongnumber moon: whos stars moon: who is stars moon: answer me"

"A pedigree bulldog missing. Founders rest in peace.'"

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food joint? Aaaaarby"

"The preacher today used Star Wars as a sermon illustration. I felt it was a little forced."

"How do you describe getting cancer on your resume? As a real growth opprotunity"

"I really just don't like any of these fancy and stinky cheeses. Maybe I'm just uncultured."

"Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall."

"wife: Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?! me [stops jumping]: You would have said no"