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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dog say he was an actor? His leg was in a cast."

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"What do you get when you cross hot chicks coming and going, a camera, a guy known for his explosion scenes, and a douche? Possible Transformers sequel."

"""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out"

"When life gives you melons... You're probably dyslexic."

"Why did the French construct the Maginot Line? To keep the Nazis in Czech!"

"What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway? Sub humans."

"Once upon a time... There was an idiot who thought I was gonna tell a joke. Have a nice day."

"How do you capture a polar bear? Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**"