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Joke of the Day

"""daddy I hear footsteps on the roof, it must be Santa"" *checks santa tracker* new zealand? *grabs frying pan and knife* go get in bed, son"

"Stop complaining about the length of the Hobbit movies. Plays are 17 hours long. School plays are twice that."

"What did Will Smith's toe say to his face? I am leg end."

"What did the gay crocodile do when made the head coach of a thirsty football team? He gave them GatorAIDS"

"Why do witches have stiff joints ? They get broomatism !"

"What happened to the frog who parked illegally? he got toad"

"Facebook should make an option, to block people from tagging me in videos/pictures that have nothing to do with me."

"My therapist told me that if ignorance is bliss, there's no reason for me to be on antidepressants."

"What do you call a funny pancake? a puncake"

"What's Irish and sits out in the rain? Paddy o' Furniture"