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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweatereveryone thought she was Planet Earth"

"TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Oops, wrong sub!"

"""I'll be black"" the potato dramatically announced moments before going into Sarah Connor's freezer -The Termintator"

"How do you know when you're REALLY drunk ? ANS - When you are lying face down in your front lawn and you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off."

"Like Captain Ahab, I have my own white whale. But I have no one else to blame, I'm the one who married her."

"How does a Jew make beer? He brews."

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

"Two translators are on a sinking ship... The first says: ""Do you know how to swim?"" The second says: ""No but I can shout for help in 19 different languages"""

"My friend's 6-year-old was being obnoxious. The mature thing to do was to tell him to settle down. I challenged him to a rap battle."

"What is the difference between reindeer and caribou? Reindeer are the ones that fly."