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Joke of the Day

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

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"what do you call a fraction where the numerator is bigger than the denominator?(dirty joke) missionary position."
"[baby finally falls asleep] ME: *tip toes to couch* I can finally relax DOG: I'M GONNA BARK FOR NO REASON"
"What makes a grown man cry? Watching his wife and children die before his eyes."
"Where does Donald Trump store his books? The fireplace."
"Got 3 boxes of tampons, Midol & Ibuprofen at the store. Checker was so scared he paid for my shit & carried it out for me."
"What do old lady vaginas smell like? Depends."
"Q: What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant? A: ""Is it mine?"""
"According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an ""Institute of Fine Farts"" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie."
"My wife was looking tired after giving blood I asked if she felt drained..."