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Joke of the Day

"Like Captain Ahab, I have my own white whale. But I have no one else to blame, I'm the one who married her."

"How did little Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis."

"Height of Misunderstanding Wife not talking to Husband & Thinking that She is Punishing him..."

"I was going to confess to this girl, until I found out that... Oops, wrong sub. Was meant to post this on /r/atheism."

"don't feel too bad for people with chronic amnesia. they can watch Breaking Bad for the first time over and over."

"My stepson and his friend are driving around in my car. If he wrecks it, I have insurance. If he plays Nickelback in it, I'll murder him."

"My attorney likes to earn from my mistakes."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says ""Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..."" the Scottish farmer says ""Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"""

"I'm like a kid in a candy store..... I can't afford anything."

"How bad does an atheist smell? Ungodly"