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Joke of the Day
"How does a Jew make beer? He brews."
Next Joke
"I think it's cute how my bankruptcy attorney thinks I'm going to pay him!"
"Why do mice have such small balls? Because so very few mice know how to dance..."
"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia!"
"On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker."
"Job interview Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness? Me: I'm brutally honest. Interviewer: I don't think it's a weakness at all. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."
"What's the difference between life and a prostitute? You have to pay a prostitute to fuck you"
"I want my ashes scattered when I die. I don't like people visiting me now.... I'll be damned if I want visitors when I'm dead."
"Haven't put on a bra in like... 5 days. Being a dude is great"
"Whenever someone mentions rat poison part of me imagines a tiny rodent cover band playing 80s power ballads."