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Joke of the Day

"My friend works at subway... I guess you could say she'll really be rolling in the DOUGH."

"What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!"

"I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift"

"Jesus saves! Because he shops at Walmart"

"I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake."

"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"

"So I was going down on my girlfriend... ...When I tasted horse semen. I then screamed ""So grandma! That's how you died!"""

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"Hereditary Irritable Bowel Syndrome Runs in the family."

"How do I take my coffee? Uh..Orally. Why? How do you take it? Freak."