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Joke of the Day

"I always thought District of Columbia was a weird name Until I realized it probably has the highest rates of coffee and caffeine usage anywhere in the US"

"Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green? It was Saint Patrick's Day."

"Did you hear? Oxygen and Magnesium are dating. When I found out I was like OMg!"

"How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips."

"Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?"

"Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!"

"2038. walking to work i see a toilet drone flying by. i do the special hand clap and it flies down and lets me use it then thanks me"

"What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer? Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)"

"What has two O's and fires? A double-vowel shotgun."

"If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying, ""hey, at least he died doing what he loved"""