198871

Joke of the Day

"I sniffed my work shirt to see if it was too dirty. Unfortunately I work at a chloroform factory and woke up 6 hours late for my shift"

"Wanna hear something really disappointing? Too bad."

"Why is ""Z"" afraid of all of the other letters? Because they're Not-Z's (*Nazis*)"

"Why do male midgets laugh so hard when they play football ? It's because the grass tickles their balls."

"Q: Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas."

"How do chemists get high? they drop acid of course"

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"[arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH"

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A threesome."

"The greatest plot twist of all time is in the Bible where, halfway through, God suddenly turns out to be nice."