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Joke of the Day

"I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake."

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"A man walks into a bank and puts a bag of weed up on the counter. He asks to open a joint account"
"Nothing is worse than having jock itch. ESPECIALLY within 100 ft of a school or playground."
"I love when I have dramatic realizations over my morning cereal... ... I call 'em ""breakfast epiphanies"""
"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender"
"Saw sign in yoga store: Do One Thing A Day That Scares You. So today I start raping coyotes."
"[Getting waterboarded] ""Um, sir the subject isn't responding to interrogation, he's just getting bigger"" [Me, a sponge] ""MwahahaHAHAHAA"""
"What goes in hard but comes out soft and sticky? Gum"
"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan."
"If online bullying has taught us anything..... It's that people would sooner hang themselves than lose a bit of weight!!"
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