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Joke of the Day

"Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die."

"What did Oprah say when she visited Harlem? ""YOU get a father, and YOU get a father, and YOU get a father! Everybody gets a father!!!"

"White people will swim with sharks, wrestle with alligators, and sleep with tigers.... ....but get nervous when a person of color walks by. Sounds about white."

"Wanna hear three rapid jokes? No."

"Don't trust atoms They make up everything."

"What do you call a fat man in a bath ? Tubby."

"How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight"

"What doesn't belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Answer: blowjob You can beat your meat, eggs and wife but you cant beat a blowjob!"

"what do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat!!"

"Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy."