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Joke of the Day

"Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy."

"Me: ""If Americans say 'sidewalk', what do we mean in England?"" My six year old: ""Crab!"""

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"

"I'm feeling like a country Hungary"

"What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars? Ones green and the other is black"

"Diablo 3 Horrible Choices Made Dear Diary... Today we chose to let our friend Wookie play ET Wizard... Now we all have new necklaces made out of rope."

"My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM."

"*pretends floor is lava* *looks around* *slyly pushes homework onto the floor*"

"twitter: the only place where you get excited when a stranger follows you"

"Blowdryer Incident Bob's wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing? Apparently, ""heating up your breakfast"" was not the right answer!"