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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster complain about winter in July? He wanted to do it before it was cool."

"I once farted in an Apple store... It's not my fault they don't have windows."

"I hear that you're supposed to learn from your mistakes Probably why I'm an only child."

"An ion walked up to Lost and Found and reported that he had lost an electron. The clerk asked:are you sure? The ion replied :Yes, I am positive.VCN"

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"What are 3 naked woman on a crate of beer? In the way!"

"My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing."

"Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again."

"My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)"

"Monica Blue Knock knock. Whos there? Monica Blue. Monica Blue who? Bill Clinton."