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Joke of the Day
"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"
Next Joke
"How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch? You pay him for the pizza."
"85% of the time I spend in a bathroom stall is spent waiting for the other person in the bathroom to leave."
"French toast I saw on the menu at a small restaurant 10% more French in your toast and I asked the waitress what that meant and she said. ""We swear at it"""
"a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says ""alright John how you getting on today?"""
"*Good Will Hunting* Professor: are you the janitor who's been solving the math equations? me: [writing '80085' on every chalkboard] yes?"
"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? a PILOT, you fucking racist!"
"So I got a piece of ass this morning... my finger slipped through the paper."
"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."
"What do you call a Woman who can balance 3 pints of Lager on her head? Beatrix"