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Joke of the Day

"I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer....... but I just thought that must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. ""Your dog really likes me!!!"" ""I'm so sorry."""

"I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping & I have to call it Cinnamon."

"What do you call a boner you don't want? A groaner."

"How do you become a millionaire in post-Brexit UK? First, start off with a billion pounds.."

"The fact that Americans eat cookie dough and cake batter shows that we can't even wait until it's done cooking anymore."

"Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber"

"I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face... ...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard"

"Tech guy says: ""When in doubt reboot. "" Okay, I've rebooted but i still don't see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer."

"Who let the dogs out? Knock knock"

"Penis nicknames My ex-girlfriend nicknamed my penis after her favorite rapper, Biggie. So I nicknamed her boobs after my favourite country band, Rascal Flatts."