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Joke of the Day

"The fact that Americans eat cookie dough and cake batter shows that we can't even wait until it's done cooking anymore."

"What's the difference between a honda and a Porsche? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a Honda"

"I'm not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is the pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?"

"What's the biggest advantage to living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus."

"Why did the CS major quit his job? He didn't get arrays."

"What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives? A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!"

"Did you hear about the guy who brought a ladder to the bar? He heard beer was on the house"

"DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro"

"1 in every 5 dolphins is a method actor."

"Why do you call a Mexican midget a paragraph? Because he isn't a full essay"