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Joke of the Day

"Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are."

"Two gay guys are going on vacation... ...the night before they are to leave, one gay guy says to the other, ""Hey man, can I pack your shit?"""

"Why did Sweden change their immigration politics? Because their Zoos ran out of room."

"I never know what to do with my hands during sex. I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm."

"I tried donating sperm the other day, but they refused me. The requirements they have are really strict there at the salvation army"

"I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child."

"My wife is a liar! Last night I texted her and asked here where she was, she said with her sister Emma. I was with her sister Emma!!"

"I know my Valentines day will be full of garbage... ...because I'll get dumped anyway."

"A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk TO EACH OTHER instead of about each other."

"If you crush a cockroach, you're a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria."