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Joke of the Day

"I never know what to do with my hands during sex. I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm."

"Today I wanted to make a broken pencil pun But there's no point."

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto."

"Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ""Do you know how to drive this?"""

"What's the simplest way to prevent rape? Consent."

"What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence? ""I'm udderly ruined!"" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to"

"How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for? Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)"

"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"

"Two hefty guys are drinking in the pub, one says ""Your round."""

"good old family racism what do you call the leader of the black panthers movement? the maine coon"