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Joke of the Day

"I know my Valentines day will be full of garbage... ...because I'll get dumped anyway."

"I knew someone who was frozen to absolute Zero once... He was 0K"

"Just observed a dwarf making a complaint at customer service. He said ""I'm not happy"" I leaned in and asked ""Then which one are you?"""

"[3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?"

"Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck."

"Photons have mass? Why, I didn't know they were Catholic!"

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm addicted to Twitter! Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you."

"People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia..."

"Where is the biggest jews concentration? In the air."

"[police raid at balloon store] Cop on radio:""We can hear gunfire is everyone ok, over"" Hedgehog cop inside:""Its not gunfire, over"""