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Joke of the Day

"""Google, how long will my trip to Cleveland take? ""Your trip will take 5 hours"" ""Google, I have a child. ""Your trip will take 9 hours""."

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"The Artist Formally Known As... Alive."
"TIFU by eating someone else's subway sandwich. Oops, wrong sub."
"Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy."
"What is the best ""bang for your buck""? Vaseline."
"I had a friend from North Korea. When I asked him how the country was, he said, ""I can't complain..."""
"did you watch the obese fashion show? they had some pretty good role models"
"What do you call it when you have a bad dream about having sex with someone you hate? A 'fucking' nightmare."
"I bought a new fragrance today... Bc I heard with the right Cologne, women just can't say no to you"
"How does a watch maker tell you he likes you? With a romantic tock."