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Joke of the Day

"What is the best ""bang for your buck""? Vaseline."

"I want to create a Facebook event called ""Shut The Hell Up"" and invite everybody."

"I'm taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue. I don't want to talk about it. ...It's a sore subject."

"Officer: Do you know you have a blinker out? Me: Yes, officer. Officer: When did you plan on getting that fixed? Me: 2005"

"Wife: Where did all this glitter come from? Me: Jake, at State Farm."

"I once had this amazing handicapped friend. He wanted to be a stand up comedian."

"Why was the President broke after the assassination attempt? Secret service charges."

"Big words Don't you just hate when people use big words to try and sound more photosynthesis?"

"What do Swimming and Masturbation have in common? You have to get through a lot of fluid to find the perfect stroke."

"A kid asks his dad, ""what's the difference between 'realistically' and 'potentially'""? His dad responds, ""realistically you've heard this joke before, potentially, you will hear it again""."