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Joke of the Day
"ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money"
Next Joke
"How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake."
"What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper? You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D"
"What does having sex in a canoe and drinking light beer have in common. Either way you're fucking close to water."
"I bet snowmen think it's weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin."
"What do you call sex on a beach? Intercoarse"
"I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid"
"Before I had kids I was going to be an awesome mom."
"Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."
"Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."