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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever shoed a horse? No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."

"""Make yourself at home."" they say, then it's ""Ma'am please put your bra back on."" Make up your mind, library story time, make up your mind!"

"Levi's commercial idea. A man lay dead on the ground. Another man stands over him. The camera pushes in slowly on the killer's face. Levi's"

"God created the orgasm so women can whine when they're happy too."

"What body of water is used for writing? The Apostrosea."

"What do you call a car crash caused by Hitler? An axisdent"

"Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says ""open wide"" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date"

"Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist."

"I warn you not to mess with me! I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words."