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Joke of the Day

"I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle."

"My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21."

"What does the French chef say to the skeleton? Bony Appetit"

"Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me."

"I wanna be that one kid who.... shows Kim Kardashians kid her sextape"

"Instead of the death penalty they should make prisoners nice and comfortable and then tell them that the remote control is across the room."

"I tried to catch fog once... I mist"

"I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard."

"""I never weigh myself"" -People who weigh themselves daily"

"Why do black people go to church? Because the father is actually there."