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Joke of the Day
"How do you circumcise a Texan? Kick his sister in the jaw."
Next Joke
"How to fall down the stairs Step One: Step Six: Step Seven: Step Ten: Step Fifteen:"
"What's a large bird hiding in the bushes called? A lurkey turkey."
"Someone told me they were getting colored contacts, and I said ""aren't all their eyes just brown?"" that was a complete misunderstanding."
"""Can I buy you a drink?"" ""I'd rather just have the money"""
"I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them."
"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire"
"Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, ""We should really go see that together."""
"Why is your optometrist gay? They love people who can't see straight!"
"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""