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Joke of the Day

"Which word is the longest in the English language? Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters"

"Are we dangerous? ""Yes"" replied mother earth."

"Interviewer: ""Are you good at making snap decisions?"" *20 minutes later* Me: ""No."""

"Bernie Sanders is like the Wizard of Oz... ...because he took Kansas by storm."

"Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide"

"Your mom is so dumb.... She tried to climb Mountain Dew"

"What do you call the rapid growth of Indian cities? Turbanisation"

"A cleaning service of men who think a hot girl is coming over in 20 minutes."

"Honey, I just won the lottery! -- Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack some suitcases! -- That's fantastic! Should I pack summer or winter clothing? -- I don't care, but I want you gone by tomorrow!"

"Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy."