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Joke of the Day

"Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case? because pipe clock would have just been stupid."

"My wife asked me to grow a beard I didn't like it at first but it's really growing on me"

"The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me."

"Drunk - When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth."

"What does Disney and the porn industry have in common? They both hire adults that look like teenagers."

"""So I was on a spaceship, and you were there, but it was not you, you know? Anyways..."" - MLK's less important dream"

"Blind snipers have no idea what they're missing."

"What is the difference between a zebra and a bar? Zebras have bars around their asshole, and there are assholes around the bars."

"Q: Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? A: To meet chicks."

"Unlike many guys, I don't try to get into a lady's pants... ...mostly because they won't fit me, but also because they lack usable pockets. What's up with that aspect of fashion design, anyway?"