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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me to grow a beard I didn't like it at first but it's really growing on me"

"Snooki doesn't like her nickname. OK. What's another name for a drunken slut? Damn. Paris Hilton is already taken."

"Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?"

"I just Googled ""Living with Glaucoma"" before realising it was just a fingerprint smudge on my glasses."

"Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia? Because he was Snowden."

"I'm at my most British when she says ""teabag me"" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth."

"I want to apologize to the person who followed me at 2:21am and unfollowed me by 6:45am. It was a wild ride, and I will miss you."

"what brand of power tool does Chris Brown use? Black and Decker."

"What vegetable is a bug most afraid of? Stephen Hawking"

"A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me."