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Joke of the Day

"What does Disney and the porn industry have in common? They both hire adults that look like teenagers."

"If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop."

"They call them ""reality shows"" but none of them are about drunk people scrolling through meaningless crap on the internet all night."

"Teacher asked us today, ""What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"" You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)"

"I received a request to go and fix a broken handle on a window. It turned out to be a crank call."

"I was diagnosed with Tom Jones Syndrome yesterday. I asked the doctor if it was a rare condition. ""It's not unusual""."

"Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium are dating now? OMg !!!"

"The chicken I just ate wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up."

"Wipes away your tears using three precise karate chops."

"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."