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Joke of the Day

"I painted the garage with my girlfriend yesterday Now I can't get the paint out of her hair."

"Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'"

"How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!"

"Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece."

"What genius named it a ""news feed"" on Facebook and not ""bullshit""?!"

"What did the father say before he killed his child with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson"

"they asked a 100year old grandpa why were all the women still crazy about him? grandpa said nothing! just gently licked his eyebrow"

"How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him."

"My jokes are pretty deep Cos they are mine"

"What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift? I'll never part with this!"