211050
Joke of the Day
"Painters wear all white while they paint like they don't give a fuck."
Next Joke
"A fairy tale for men One day a handsome young man proposes to his girlfriend, but she says no. And the man lives happily ever after!"
"I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars"
"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. ... Wait."
"What's another name for a casket? Mourning wood."
"[texting] So what's your name? ""ily"" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?"
"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)."
"Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?"
"People drive too slow in the fog... I'm just over here not hitting anything. Not even my brakes."
"My girlfriend just broke up with me. I deserved it... I asked her to so I could do this joke."