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Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)."

"Wanna talk about Sodium? Na Nitric Oxide? NO Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine? OMg PISS OFF ...Potassium? K"

"A man is at the checkout to purchase some condoms... ...the cashier asks, ""Would you like a bag as well?"" the man replies, ""Oh, no thank you--she isn't that ugly."""

"[FBI job interview] ""Do you have any self defense training?"" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing."

"REV. SHARPTON Calling Al Sharpton a reverend is like calling Jeffrey Dahmer a chef"

"Why did the run on sentence think that it was pregnant? Because its period was late."

"What is the most effective form of birth control? Abortions."

"A piece of ham Ham is ham. The end"

"What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed? Yes but we cantaloupe."

"Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit."